I Saw Mommy Screwing Santa Claus | mommyx's Blog

There are times in your life that are so surreal that you can't help but shake your head and think about how wrong the world is...

Let me start by introducing my identical twin daughters, N & B.  N & B were nine years old and N had been asking me about "The Birds & The Bees" for a couple years.  I don't remember exactly how it first came up but somehow I had managed to dodge the bullet.  Eventually my luck ran out and during their ninth summer, we finally had "the talk".

As you will come to find out about me, I like to tell it how it is (abet tactfully).  So in my typical style, I used medical terminology and straight-forward, matter-of-fact descriptions.  Their reactions were not what I expected.  N was no longer curious; she was in tears ("it" was not what she expected).  Because the girls can be so different even though they are identical twins, I shouldn't have been surprised that B's reaction was now one of curiosity and her questions never seemed to end.  One reaction they did have in common was to think the whole act was absolutely disgusting...a reaction I continue to encourage and hope they will keep for years to come!  If that makes me a hypocrite, so be it.

So now that I've addressed the screwing, I assume you must be asking yourself what the hell this has to do with Santa.  It wasn't until months later that another perennial question came up and I felt as if I were in the Twilight Zone.  I mean, what is the world coming to when your children know about sex and yet still believe in Santa Claus?!   Needless to say, the "Santa Talk" that same year was anticlimactic.